cooltc 发表于 2011-12-10 22:36   全显示 1楼

虐心到底

看了第一章觉得和山文京伝的作品相似猪脚看到这样的场景够虐心~第二章情节突变，但是为什么不让虐心继续下去，比如猪脚又无意发现了网上流转的照片或视频把小刚和妈妈的过程详细化，细节化，描写下猪脚的心理变化，有很多的包袱可以抛出来，当然你想怎么写是你的事，哥就是个喜欢被虐的变态~!
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  • abc@home 金币 +4 鼓励，抽奖去吧。 2011-12-11 17:11
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